hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
