Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I need to wash the frat house off of me
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Well yeah. But im not sure i trust the black out drunk high girl giving life advice
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Randomize