i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
