This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
