i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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