Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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