I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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