do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
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