I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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