The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you have feelings for this penis?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
Randomize
