In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
