I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
i came on her dog
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
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