Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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