gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ugly people sure do ruin things
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
