:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
