you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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