normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
this is an emotional support booty call
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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