Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
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