the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
