It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
You are literally throwing a tangerine right now. Beer pong is not played this way
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
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