I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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