I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Randomize
