You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
