when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
Randomize