just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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