ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
