Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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