My hair reeks of homosexuality.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
Randomize
