508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
