If i come over, it means nothing
we have officially lost it.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize
