i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
