why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Randomize
