people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
