i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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