its not stalking. its research.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
he thought i was a dude.
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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