how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Randomize
