its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
No, that's just what we do when we hang out. We get drunk, have really awesome sex, then fight about why we never worked as a couple
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
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