we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
cat food counts as protein by the way
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Found the puke drawer
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I want to fling myself into the sun
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
