i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
