If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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