Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
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