I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
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