I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
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