You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
stop calling my apartment porn island.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
You’re a genius! I just walked in, shut the door, blew him and left. He could barely move afterwards and was a hot mess at the presentation. He already sent me a calendar invite for another meeting
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