I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
