Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
Turns out Woolite can get the cum stains out of her moms couch.
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
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