Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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