wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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