so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Randomize
