i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
so let's talk penis.
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
