Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Drinking with a woman who gave an anti-drugs speech at my high school. Somehow, not surprised.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
