Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
Randomize
