Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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