I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
Randomize
