therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
He said "I can't wait for you to feel me inside of you so I can tell you gently that you're mine" and left me a 4 minute voice mail of him crying after I told him I didn't want to be with him. 30 year olds are off limits.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
