Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
