You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
