Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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